Understanding Personal Attraction

Let me start by admitting that when I first started reading about personal attraction and The Secret and the Attractor Factor, I was extremely skeptical.  I mean really, who believes you can simply attract what you want in your life solely by making your intentions known and then waiting for it to come to you?  Now I realize that there is much more to it than that.  And I am here to tell you that there is some truth to it.

When I started in network marketing, I did all the things my upline told me.  I held business presentations in my home, handed out DVDs and CDs that talked about the business opportunity.  I bought leads and faithfully followed up with each and every one of them.  I paid for referrals and handed out information and business cards at every networking event I could get to.  And I made a grand total of $35.46 a month.  That's when I decided I either needed to find a better way or quit.

I started researching to find who actually was making real money - and I mean 6-figures or better - in this industry.  And when I found them, I studied them.  I read everything they wrote, went to hear them speak, attended any presentations they did.  And I discovered two things - either they had a loyal following already that came into this business with them, or they had somehow managed to build a business without doing all the things my upline was telling me I had to do.  I was determined to find out how these people were getting customers and business partners to join them without having to hunt down every warm body they crossed paths with.

As I watched these people in action, I noticed they all had a few things in common.  All of them were extremely self-confident.  They didn't feel the least bit self-conscious about promoting the latest "pyramid scheme".  

They all had goals.  They knew exactly what they wanted and they were all focused on getting it. 

They had rules.  And if you wanted to be part of their team, you followed the rules.  I particularly remember one individual who made it clear that his time was valuable and if you wanted to work with him and his team then you needed to be available for training calls or workshops or whatever he felt was necessary - and if you weren't, he would simply ignore you from then on. 

They shared their knowledge.  If you were lucky enough to be around them, they would teach you what they had learned.  This made them valuable.  Even if you weren't a member of their team, many of them would still share what they knew. 

They were always upbeat, positive, and optimistic.  To the point that at first, I found it slightly annoying.  Who can be that cheerful all the time?  I found out later that sometimes each of them felt a bit down, but they quickly talked themselves into a more positive frame of mind.  And they taught me how to do that also.

They took care of themselves.  They respected themselves and those around them.  If we went out together, they were not the last ones to leave, having had more than their fair share of drinks.  They made sure they left at a reasonable hour so they were well rested.  They didn't abuse alcohol, or drugs, or food.  Many of them had a regular exercise routine.  They took care of their appearance so even if they weren't sporting the latest designer fashions, they were still neat, stylish, and professional-looking.  Their cars were well maintained, their houses were well maintained, their yards were neat and nicely landscaped.  They cared, loved, and protected their families and their friends.  

In contrast, I have to admit, I often felt embarrassed about promoting network marketing.  I still pictured it as only quasi-legal and not a real business at all.  I had goals - sort of.  I knew I wanted to make more money.  I didn't know exactly how much or how long I would take to get there.  I accepted all the excuses my few team members kept giving me for why they weren't working on their businesses. Heck, I had used them myself to explain my own lack of success. I only passed on to my team the info I received from my upline - which wasn't much. And I surely didn't share it with others! Why help someone who was working for someone else?   I will be the first to admit that some days, my house looked like a bomb went off inside, and my car always looked like it could use a trip to the car wash.  My yard always looked like it need a touch with the lawn mower and my few flowers were usually more dead than alive.  I showed up for business presentations and meetings in jeans and t-shirts.  And I had long ago alienated most of my friends and family by continually pushing them to join my business.  No wonder I was having a hard time convincing others I had the secret to success!

Several years and much learning has passed.  And now I know how these leaders attracted people and prosperity to them with ease.  I do it.  You can do it too. But first you are going to have to change the way you think about certain things.  Ready?

Step 1.  You must learn to have an abundance mentality.  When you approach someone or something out of need, your desperation shows.  That either gives the other person all the power, since they now know how needy you are.  Or it convinces them you are a phony.  If you were doing all that well, why would you need them so badly?

Step 2.  You have to learn to take criticism in stride.  I still get emails and phone calls telling me I am a scam artist, or network marketing is just a get rich quick scheme or blaming me because they are not making any money.  I know now that I am not responsible for these people and that until they take responsibility for themselves they will never be successful.  I can't help them until they do and so their comments no longer offend me.

Step 3.  You must learn to say no.  I no longer accept every warm body that approaches me about joining my team.  You must learn that you can't work with everybody and it doesn't matter.

Step 4.  You must take care of those around you.  Your family, your friends, your team, your community.  What you send out, you get back many times over.  

Step 5.  You must take care of yourself.  No more jeans and t-shirts for me unless I am just hanging around the house.  My husband and I are remodeling our home so it's the house we always wanted.  We both hate yard work, so we have hired someone to do it for us.  I make sure I get enough rest, and I am working to reach a healthier weight.  And the fast-food dinners have come to an end.  I love to cook and my husband has discovered that healthy eating can taste good.

Step 6.  You must learn to communicate with poise, authority, and confidence.  If you don't know how, my good friend Felicia Slattery can help.  She's amazing and will having speaking like a professional speaker in no time.

Step 7.  Realize that you will spend the rest of your life learning.  There is no magic bullet or superbook or e-course that will teach you all you need to know.  One of the things that will make you attractive to others is your perceived value to them.  And in order to have value you must acquire knowledge and skills that you can share,  So if you think I am going to tell you to buy this book or take this course and be done - guess again.  I do recommend books or courses or programs that have helped me.  But you will also have to do some learning on your own.  And if you find something that works, I hope you will share it with me.

So what is the secret of personal attraction?  There is no secret.  You already have everything you need.  You just need to learn to perfect it and then to use it.  You can do it!